Confessions from the Dreadful Department Store Beauty Counter

Heads up! With Christmas around the corner, makeup artists are lurking in stores, ready to critique your entire life… starting with your undereye circles. 😏💄

Have you ever wandered into a department store and found yourself at the mercy of a makeup artist who’s a little too honest… or just plain rude? 😒

The kind who looks at your face like it’s a before-and-after photo all in one?

You walk in minding your business, just hoping to try a lipstick 💋, and suddenly the beauty consultant gasps like you walked in with no eyebrows.

“Sweetie… who did this to you?”

“Ma’am, excuse me? 😭 I just came here for a sample.”

Then she starts applying foundation with the aggression of someone scrubbing a pot that’s been soaking since Thanksgiving. 🍗🧽

“Your pores are… wow. They’re really… present.

Present? 🎁

“What is this, a Christmas party?”

And the whole time you’re thinking:

“I should’ve just gone to my Avon rep… at least she doesn’t attack my self-esteem before showing me a blush.” 😌✨

But noooo, the department store lady keeps going:

“You definitely need this serum. And this moisturizer. And this toner. And honestly… this entire counter.”

Ma’am, I walked in here because parking was free!! 🚗💨

Meanwhile, at Avon, we would never do you like that.

We hype up your glow ✨, match your shade WITHOUT emotional damage 💕, and send you home feeling cute — not traumatized.

And honestly… if you ever want a real, one-on-one beauty consultation — no judgment, no attitude, no side-eye — just send me an email. 📩 I’ve got you, sis. 💁🏽‍♀️💖

Department store beauty counter?

Never again. 🙅🏽‍♀️💄

Avon beauty consultation?

Always. ✔️✨

We just wrapped up our beauty counter skit, but as you know—my beauty counter stays open 24/7. Even for customers with really challenging cosmetic problems… like, say… 65-million-years-old type problems. 😅 🦖

Avon LYRD Vanilla Rose Eau de Parfum ✨

Because Some Things — Like Good Fragrance — Should Never Go Extinct. 🦖🌹

Talking about T-Rex… has your mood been feeling like it could use something a little exotic?

Something luxurious… timeless… and powerful enough to survive any era?

Meet LYRD Vanilla Rose Eau de Parfum — a fragrance so captivating, even a dinosaur would stop stomping just to take a sniff.

Warm vanilla. Lush rose. A touch of mystery.

It’s elegance with a little roar. 💖🔥

So whether you’re running from a T-Rex or running errands, this scent will follow you like a legendary creature that refuses to go extinct.

Ready to smell unforgettable?

Try LYRD Vanilla Rose — the fragrance that belongs in any century.

LYRD Vanilla Rose got your attention… but don’t get too comfy! We’ve got more perfume sets waiting to judge your scent choices—and yes, they’re all stunning. And with Christmas around the corner, they make the perfect gifts too!

BEST SELLER – Mesmerize Aqua Eau de Toilette:

“Meet our BEST SELLER: Mesmerize Aqua Eau de Toilette! 🌊💙 Fresh, invigorating, and impossible to ignore—this scent is making waves for a reason.”

With its crisp, aquatic notes and a hint of citrus, Mesmerize Aqua is the perfect everyday scent—light enough for daytime, yet confident enough to leave a lasting impression. Whether you’re gifting it or keeping it for yourself, it’s a fragrance that effortlessly turns ordinary moments into something unforgettable.

But wait.. there’s more!

And for the men in the family, don’t just stop at cologne—they’ve got a sleek watch that’ll make them feel like a million bucks this Christmas.” ⌚🎄

🎄 Even the Rude Makeup Artist Would Approve: Gingerbread Cookies 🎄

Think your holiday is missing a little sass? These gingerbread cookies are here to judge—and delight.

Ingredients:

3 cups flour (because basic dough is boring) 3/4 cup brown sugar (sweet, but not too sweet—like your favorite fragrance) 3/4 tsp baking soda 1 tbsp ginger 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp cloves 1/4 tsp nutmeg 1/4 tsp salt 3/4 cup butter, softened (let’s keep it smooth) 3/4 cup molasses (dark, mysterious, unforgettable) 1 egg Optional: icing & sprinkles (for drama)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Mix the dry stuff like a pro who doesn’t tolerate shortcuts. Beat butter and sugar until creamy—make it look effortless. Add molasses and egg; blend like you own the kitchen. Combine dry and wet ingredients, forming a dough that even the snootiest makeup artist can’t critique. Roll out, cut shapes, and place on baking sheet. Bake 8–10 mins. Cool, decorate, and serve with confidence.

Tip: These cookies smell amazing… almost as irresistible as Mesmerize Aqua Eau de Toilette. Your house will feel festive, fabulous, and just a little sassy. 😏✨

Hey! Loved this blog? Share it, subscribe, and don’t forget to register at my Avon store—you’ll get free samples of all things fabulous. Because honestly, who can say no to free beauty? 💖💄,